It's been quite some time since I last blogged, so I guess it's time to do it again.
I call this post "Miracle" because there really has been a miracle in my life...in so, so, so many ways. God has just really taken control over these last few months and so many amazing things have happened. Scratch that...so many things have happened, and are happening still.
I suppose you could say it was my friend Carmen who I have to thank for "starting" it. She and her family have these "gatherings" once a month at their place. It's an awesome time of food, fellowship, worship and prayer. We were invited to one back in May. I took the kids and we just had the best time--we were hooked from then on.
It had been so long since I'd had good fellowship with other believers, and been able to just enjoy worship and basking in his glory. I realized I had a real hunger and thirst for his presence. My life had been so dry lately. Everything seemed to be overwhelming me. I was physically and emotionally drained from all the illness I've been dealing with. I decided to branch out and actively start looking for a church again. I went to a few different ones with some friends and had a great time. We attended Carmen's church, too and really enjoyed it. The kids really loved that they were able to see the same friends they had made from the gatherings, too. It was nice to be back in church again.
We've been going to the Faith Assembly of God for a few months now and I really like it. There are some great people there; you can just feel God's warmth and love when you walk in the place and that is one of the biggest things I look for in a church. Argh...there I go, off on a tangent again...sorry.
So, as I said before, some really special things happened to me over the summer. For starters, when we were at our first gathering, I was anointed and prayed over for the first time. It was really something amazing. I was so overwhelmed and touched. These people hardly knew me, but here they were, holding my hands, calling me sister, praying for me...it was just so much. My heart was so full and I felt so blessed. But, I also felt (this is hard to admit) jealous. Don't worry, it wasn't the "green-eyed monster"...it was what I've heard people call a "Godly jealousy". It was a "...wow. I want what they have. I want to see my husband talk about me like that, and pray for me like that. I want to feel God's presence in my home and in those around me" kind of jealousy.
I thought one way to "satisfy" this need was to get my WHOLE family back in church. I had already been going with the kids, but I really wanted Nick to come. I started dropping little hints every now and then. Sundays went by and it still seemed that he all but ignored me whenever I talked about church. So, since that didn't work, I moved to direct asking. Before I knew it, we were fighting--all because I wanted him to come to church and he just didn't feel ready.
One Sunday morning, we had a particularly nasty argument in which he "tried to put me in my place". He accused me of being "holier than thou" and nagging, and doing the very things that I hated to see people do. How dare he! I'll show him! I hurried the kids and myself off to church, fuming all the way.
When we arrived I got the kids settled in their class and sat down in the nursery all huffy and hot-headed. Carmen and her husband Dale started talking to me, asking about what was going on. I began to rant and rave about Nick not wanting to come to church, sure that they would jump in on my side. Nope. God bless those two for being vessels of the Lord. It was Dale who came right out and told me I was wrong. Ouch. Oops. As Dale and Carmen talked with me, I realized that Nick was right--I was being overbearing and pushy and going about it the wrong way. We talked and I felt better. I decided to apologize to him and make it a point to just leave the issue alone. Dale and Carmen invited us over for lunch, Nick included, so I called him and apologized. We picked him up after church and went and spent the afternoon at Dale and Carmen's. It was a great day and Nick really liked them, too. Later on, Nick and I had a long talk and just got everything out in the open. We agreed to start praying together again, which was something I'd been wanting for a long time.
Over the next few weeks I continued to actively pray with and for my husband. I decided to start being more encouraging and easygoing, instead of picking a fight at every turn like I had been. I know it seems silly but just that small effort really seemed to make a difference. Things between Nick and I really improved. Even when he was on the road, we would pray together every night. I could sense a real change in our attitudes and I started to relax and realize that it was okay if he didn't feel like going to church yet. It was really between him and God.
A few weeks later, one Saturday he just blew me out of the water by telling me that he wanted to go to church the next day. We made plans to attend one he had recently photographed at, and liked. But life happens and the next day we weren't ready on time for that church so we decided to all go to Carmen's church. He said he really enjoyed it and we've been going back as a family. God is so good!
That is one part of the miracle--the spiritual changes that have taken place within me and in my family. The other part has to do with the physical changes. Continued in Part 2....
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