Wonderfully Made (Part 2)

It goes deeper than apperances though. A great big part of my negative self image is my shame and guilt over my life. I have been measuring my self worth against what I've done. Because of my sins and mistakes, I am feeling inadequate and I have been telling myself that I am not good enough for God. I have deemed myself un-loveable, a lost cause--unable to be saved because I have done too many things wrong.

Perhaps my problem is that I've never truly let God take my sin and cleanse me of it. Or maybe it's that even after I became a Christian, I have continued to sin. We all do-- Romans 3:23 tells us, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". But I think that somewhere along the road, I learned that if I sin after asking Jesus to save me, I am erasing or discounting that forgiveness and salvation. I have no idea where this kind of thinking comes from, but it's there and I need to overcome it.

The logic is so simple--Christ died for us and cleansed our sins from us. He was crucified one time--not over and over again. "And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all." Hebrews 10:10

Once for all--Meaning that I don't have to go back and beat myself up over my sin. There's not some hidden, secret, or forgotten transgression that I failed to mention when I prayed the sinner's prayer. It's not as if God's saying, "Oh, wait--you forgot to mention that time you stole the change from your Dad to buy an ice cream. I'm sorry, but I cannot give you salvation. Better luck next time." That idea is positively silly. But that is honestly the equivalent to my thinking.

My God forgives me. By Jesus's blood, I am made clean. "This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." Matthew 26:28 When he died for me, He paid the debt for my sin and set me free from it. "...Because on this day atonement will be made for you, to cleanse you. Then, before the LORD, you will be clean from all your sins." Leviticus 16:30

Now, it's time to forgive myself and move on from my past. When I gave my life to Jesus, I was made new. He washed my sins away and gave me a clean slate. Therefore I need to forgive and let them go, just as he did. "...As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12 Jesus does not look at the sins of my past. He does not condemn me. Why would I condemn myself?

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17

I am free from my sins, my past. Now I move forward, knowing that no matter what, God loves me and has forgiven me. Yes, I will sin again. Sin is part of our lives. We are born into it. We ARE sin. But rather than dwell on my sin, I will learn from it, ask God for forgiveness for it, know that he forgives me, and move on. No more going back and digging up the graves of my sin. And no more telling God that he made a mistake when he created me.

From now on, my self worth will come from God. Not from my past, or my sins, not from what I have, or do not have, or what I look like. This lump of clay is saying to the Potter: "Thank you for making me just the way you would have me be. Please continue molding and shaping me according to your plan."