Word of God, Speak

I wanted to wait a bit before I made my next post, but my heart is so very full right now and I just need to let this out.

Last night, after writing that post, I could not sleep. I spent quite a bit of time in prayer, talking with God about forgiveness. I laid awake for what seemed like hours, chewing things over in my mind. Nicholas woke up and I talked to him about everything. Or rather, I rambled on and on and he listened as well as one who is not completely awake, can do.

As I talked about the part where God's word says that I need to forgive others so that God can forgive me, he stopped me and said he didn't think that was really true, that God would still forgive me. Ever the argumentative one, I rattled off Matthew 6:14-15 to him: "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Well...OK. I didn't completely rattle it off. I kind of stumbled over it, and forgot the actual address but I knew what it said... I had the right idea!)

As soon as I had finished saying the verse, I realized something. For the first time in my Christian life, I have truly been seeking God's Word. Until now, I have never really looked to His Word. I have looked at it, I've read it, I have even memorized some scripture throughout my life. But I have never saught it.

In times of trouble. I have just prayed, "Your will be done" and just pushed on through whatever trial I was facing. In times that have been good, I have all but forgotten about it. I guess that I had been telling myself that believing He was there, and that He died to save me from my sin was enough for me. Obviously it is not.

The difference in me now is that I can finally see that his Word is a great big part of this relationship with Him, and it's been missing all these years. As I have decided to truly, freely seek it, it has taken its place as a huge part of my life. I am thirsting for it, absorbing it and standing on it.

I am finding an application for it in just about everything in my life. When I have heard that my friends are down, I've used it to try and comfort them. When those little negative thoughts have started to creep in, I have used it to shoo them away. When a nasty spider came to visit me and my children the other day, I used it to call upon the power of Jesus to give me the courage to whack it with a shoe. (I typically run screaming when I see one)

As I lay there thinking about all of this, I felt something inside me that I hadn't truly felt before: peace. I felt a deep, real peace. The kind that you can just wrap yourself up with and rest in. The kind I have never known.

Ever since this began, I have felt God leading me in the directions where I need to go. I have had realizations and affirmations. But, despite what I feel I am learning, and despite how many times I have sat down and poured my heart out to him in these past 10 days or so, I still have not felt that I have been "heard".

It's not that I was looking for an answer. That, He has already given me. No, what I have been looking for, and craving is His presence. I have been longing to feel Him there beside me when I pray. And even though I haven't been feeling it, I have not doubted Him. I have kept telling myself that He is there, He hears me and He will reveal himself to me when the time is right.


Last night, I truly, truly, felt God's presence. I felt Him wrapping his arms around me and I felt His love and his peace. I finally know what it is like to feel that peace that passes all understanding.

As I write this, the tears are starting to flow. I am so filled with emotion right now. I feel this deep and fulfilling love that is just flooding me. I have a true and profound Joy and I feel as though my heart is going to burst!

"I have told you these things, that My joy and delight may be in you, and that your joy and gladness may be of full measure and complete and overflowing. John 15: 11" He has given me overflowing joy and gladness. It is my prayer that he fills you with it as well.


As I pondered all of this last night, a song kept playing over and over in my head. I leave you with the chorus to that song; I believe that it fits here quite nicely:

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak


All my love,
~Michelle